nobody knows how i feel

i m actually a sad boy.my friends may think i m a very happy person or even a annoyin bastard but they never knew tat everytime i m alone at home i emo til my sis comes home to either scold me or talk to me.some of my classmates have never seen me cry b4 except for marcus i think.haix my mom only thinks i m a childish boy who only knows how to play com or watch tv or play wib my toys and thinks i m very immature,now her thoughts have influence alot of people tat i m a lazy bum now even my tuition teacher wants me to be abit more hardworkin .but seriously have they ever comes home durin the afternoon to see wad i m doin.school is like my second home where i can say out wad i think to my friends and i know they will not care tat is why i can say it out.have they ever see me preparin my test,yes i admit tat i m not as hardworkin as my sis or even kiasu but i know what i can do.i just got back my sci paper and the questions i get wrong was just some silly mistake and i got 20/30.i m quite happy with it since i actually study hard for it yet my mom never saw me revisin for the test and sort of say tat the test was easy and i was just lucky.she rarely praise me anymore,i can still remember when i was young i get alot of full marks for my test because my mom praise me alot and i was happy when i hear her praise me but now she criticize my test.haix if i can just reverse the time and go back to kindergarden to express my feelings without fear i would be much more happier.no wonder babies can young kids are so happy.the reason i make this blog is not that i want people to see wad i write,its because i want to write wad i think.now my dad i much more diff from my mom he is even more criticizin,at least my mom praise me b4 my dad ....never ever did he only know how to say computer this computer tat even when i get 100 marks when i was young he never said anything.my sis is also abit more diff,she is a two sided coin she can be very encourgin to me or she can be very angry wib me.haix....